I am a former soap addict. While I have not watched soaps regularly for a few years now, I use to watch them everyday for many years.
I made an interesting connection between soaps and my family history a few years back, interesting to me anyway. I now believe that soaps were a coping mechanism for me.
What do I mean by coping mechanism: a behaviour that helped me survive the abuse but did not free me from it. I now believe that soaps reduced my psychological stress a moment at a time. They were escapism for my brain one day at a time. I figured this out after I had stopped watching them for a long period and finally realized that it was because I did not “need” them anymore and that I did not “need” them because I was psychologically better off. It took me a while to figure that out but that is what I concluded.
I watched many soaps over the years and would switch between whichever ones had the best stories at the time. Truth to told, I figure I watched every soap for at least a short period of time in order to check it out, the shortest being “Passions”. I did not last a week watching that one, as the found the acting so painful I simply couldn’t bear to watch it any longer than one week.
After all the years I spent watching soaps, I would say my three favourites that I could always be tempted to check out again are One Life To Live, General Hospital and The Young & The Restless.
After watching soaps for as many years as I did, it was breaking the Chandra Rule that started me on the path to stopping watching them. What is the Chandra Rule you ask?
The Chandra Rule is the rule created by another self-described soap addict, actress Chandra Wilson, who portrays Dr. Miranda Bailey on Grey’s Anatomy. Like me, she refused to move from recording her soaps on a VCR to recording them on a DVR because that would allow her to accumulate too many episodes and get far behind in watching them. She committed to watching them everyday and then reusing the VHS tape the following day.
(Note: this second half of the clip below always makes me laugh)
Yes, as in the above clip, people thought I was equally Flinstonian for not moving to a DVR, but life is crazy busy and I knew if I bought a DVR I would accumulate more than I could watch… but then I went and broke the Chandra Rule anyway. No, I didn’t buy a DVR. Instead I just kept buying VHS tapes. And more VHS tapes. And then more VHS tapes.
And then suddenly, I no longer felt the need to watch my soaps anymore. After watching them for so many years, I assumed it must be a temporary feeling, so I just kept taping them and when I ran out of VHS tapes, buying more VHS tapes and so on.
I accumulated this HUGE box of VHS tapes and eventually could not justify buying one more VHS tape, when it was clear I was no longer watching them. I kept the box of VHS tapes but I still did not watch them.
Everyone watches soaps for different reasons. I am certainly not saying that the only reason I watched them was for escape from the way I was treated at home. But soaps were a gift in my life. They helped me...for many years. There are lots of unhealthy coping mechanisms. Soap “addict” or not, I think watching soaps was a healthy coping mechanism.
Why am I writing about soaps now, when I haven’t watched them in years? Because I had a very bad case of the flu recently, very bad, and was off sick, coughing up a lung for two weeks. During my convalescence, I got to experience soaps again… in a different way this time.
I have asthma. It is normally a small issue in my life. I have always been an athlete and it has not often affected my life. But when it has, it has done so badly. My nephew was really sick with the flu shortly before me and I think I got it from him. I probably should have gone to the ER with how the flu was affecting my asthma, but I have to think I actually may die to get me to do that. I was in rough shape.
During my bout with the flu, I could not move much. I was either in bed or essentially immobile in a chair. I was so weak I did nothing while awake but sit in a chair. I sat. I consumed fluids and I slept…and I watched soaps every moment I was awake. I did not even have the energy to shower, so I just sat, transfixed to my computer screen watching episode after episode. I watched One Life to Live and General Hospital and I enjoyed them both. I watched the most recent episodes on Hulu (Hulu has the five most recent episodes) and then tons of older episodes on You Tube. This flu-filled soap watching brought back so many great memories.
Presently on One Life to Live, the soapiest story at the moment is that of 
As for General Hospital, the best two things 
When Lucky and Elizabeth first fell in love, back in 1998 (very blurry clip here), I fell in love with them. The present day relationship of Lucky and Elizabeth is in such tatters, that I do not know if any of 
As for the story of Dante Falconeri, I am really impressed with the actor GH hired to play him. 
Dante Falconeri is the real name of an undercover police detective who is pretending to be mob employee Dominic Pirelli. He has infiltrated Sonny Corinthos’ organization in order to send him to jail. If you are a long-time GH fan, but have not watched recently, you will appreciate the Friday January 29th episode and should watch it on Hulu before it disappears.
Will I watch more soap episodes, now that I am flu recovered? I think I might. I haven’t been too thrilled with the writing on Grey’s Anatomy this season, so I have been looking for something to watch. I especially want to see more of Dominic Zamprogna portraying Dante Falconeri. Now that it has come to light that Dante is Sonny Conrinthos’ son, I think the scenes between Dominic Zamprogna and Maurice Bernard could be great TV. The only thing that would come first would be the LOST, as I am looking forward to feeling stupid again watching the final season.
If I do continue to watch soaps at this point, One Life to Live and General Hospital, it will be differently though. First off, I won’t be taping soaps on a VCR and accumulating VHS tapes. I will watch them on Hulu when I have the time. Isn’t Hulu great? It will save me from ever returning to VHS tapes. And, most importantly, I feel like it was a different Sage watching them recently. Today’s Sage does not feel a “need” to watch them. I could stop today and would not feel like I was missing something from my life. That said, I will always love soaps and always be grateful for the gift they have been in my life. So, thank you, to all the daytime storytellers and actors who helped me cope, one day at a time.
Next Blogum: March 2010
Sage Spencer
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